“Dear Wendy’s Sophie and Jo, two aromantic and asexual students at Wellesley College, engage in an online feud while unknowingly becoming friends in real life, in this dual POV Young Adult contemporary debut from Ann Zhao
Sophie Chi is in her first year at Wellesley College (despite her parents’ wishes that she attend a “real” university, rather than a liberal arts school) and has long accepted her aromantic and asexual identities. Despite knowing she’ll never fall in love, she enjoys running an Instagram account that offers relationship advice to students at Wellesley. No one except her roommate knows that she’s behind the incredibly popular “Dear Wendy” account.
When Joanna “Jo” Ephron―also a first-year student at Wellesley―created their “Sincerely Wanda” account, it wasn’t at all meant to be serious or take off like it does―not like Dear Wendy’s. But now they might have a rivalry of sorts with Dear Wendy? Oops . As if Jo’s not busy enough having existential crises over gender, the fact that she’ll never truly be loved or be enough, or her few friends finding The One and forgetting her!
While tensions are rising online, Sophie and Jo are getting closer in real life, bonding over their shared aroace identities. As their friendship develops and they work together to start a campus organization for other a-spec students, can their growing bond survive if they learn just who’s behind the Wendy and Wanda accounts?
With its exploration of a-spec identities, college life, and more, this platonic comedy, perfect for fans of Netflix’s The Half of It and Alice Oseman’s Loveless , is ultimately a love story about two people who are not―and will not―be in love!”
An ace friend recommended this book to me. Said she had heard about it, but it was being talked about as being sapphic. She wanted to hear my views about it as an aroace person. This friend is a great book friend, so I immediately put it on hold at the library and forgot about it until it was due.
I can see why people are labeling this sapphic. It is the love story between two somewhat femme people. There are large issues with this take though. One of the characters is actively questioning their gender. Jo uses she/they pronouns. It is mentioned quite frequently. A big part of her character is questioning her gender and what it means to be aroace. Sophie is openly aroace and a woman. So calling a romance between someone who may or may not be a woman sapphic is a bit problematic.
Adding in that neither Jo or Sophie say they are sapphic or that they are ok with that label and you have more issues. Jo and Sophie’s identity is aroace. They both talk about how they don’t want sex or romance. They both talk about how it is annoying how everyone assumes they do. They are not dating. They do not date. There is a little talk of QPRs near the end of the book and it seems like a revelation for Jo. So how is this book sapphic? Saying it is ignores the gender and sexuality of the characters as they express them and forces aroace people into a relationship they do not want.
To be clear, aroace people can want and do engage in sex and/or relationships. But these aroace characters do not. These characters talk about it repeatedly. The author even has a message before the book starts saying that Sophie and Jo experience their aroace identities in a way that is similar to Zhao’s. That there are other kind of aroace people. Not all aro people are ace. Not all ace people are aro. It is all said in black in white.
Overall, I enjoyed this book. The banter was cute. The growing of their relationship (yes, friendships and QPRs are types of relationships) was cute. My issue comes down to the conflict and the end. The conflict felt forced and the ending felt like it wasn’t enough for me. The ace rep was amazing though. My only issue there was a few comments from side characters assuming ace=celibate and aro=spinster. They were not corrected. That is a standard assumption for most people, but I wish that it had been addressed since Sophie and Jo were so outspoken otherwise.
Best ace YA I have read yet. I can’t wait for more from Zhao.
4.5 out of 5 stars. I would recommend this book.
You can buy the book here.
~Isaiah
MI Book Reviews 