“A Dom/sub relationship doesn’t just happen. It is a finely crafted and designed system of expectations and joys. In order for you and your submissive lady to “fit” one another and create a lasting, happy union there must be a period of training.
It does not matter if your sub has thirty years of experience in submission or just read 50 Shades of Grey and decided to try it herself. She will need to be trained for the best relationship to emerge.
“Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training” was specifically written for doms/masters. It is designed to provide you with a step-by-step blueprint on how to train your new sub. It goes from preparation all the way down to the closing ceremony including advanced techniques & tips.
Training can be one of the most exciting, challenging and fun parts of the relationship. A well-trained sub will not only serve you in the capacity you deserve, but will have built up the two most important elements in any BDSM relationship – trust and consistency. Following the instructions in this guide will allow you to show yourself as a worthy master, who is in control, experienced and able to guide you both to the best possible life.”
So I was paid by someone to review this book on Amazon. I was told it had to be a good review (meaning they needed a 4 or 5 star rating). I made it the shortest review I have ever done on a book otherwise I would not have been paid and I would not have gotten the book for free. Be prepared for the real review below:
So while I am happy that this book focused on important aspects like safe words (a must), after-care (another must that is often overlooked), and setting up clear boundaries with LOTS OF COMMUNICATION. I was really hoping that this book would live up to those standards and it did, but there were some major issues I had with the book. They will be laid out in a more list order so you can skip around and read my hatred and angst at your own leisure.
Issue 1: Spanking your sub to the point of a safe word
So that was a thing the book suggested. It said that you should test your sub to see what levels of pain they can take, good idea. However the book talked about intentionally trying to hurt your sub to the point that they safe worded. This sounds dangerous and any Dom that has that in mind will not get many trained subs.
Issue 2: Ignore safe words during punishments
Remember how safe words are things that you shouldn’t ignore ever. They mean an instant stop to anything that is happening no matter how much the other person(s) are enjoying the events. Instead this book says that safe words must be ignored when you are punishing your sub. The book goes on to say that BDSM and abuse are not the same things because of consent and love, but saying to ignore your partner saying “STOP NOW” is abuse. DO NOT IGNORE SAFE WORDS.
Issue 3: Assumed heterosexuality
The book is written for men. It assumes that all of the men reading the book love women and they all have penises. There was literally a part of the book that mentions that fact that your sub MUST be willing to give you head at any time because your penis is a sign of your dominant position.
Issue 4: Assumed sex is a part of BDSM
Not all Dom/sub relationships are based in sex play. Not all Dom/sub relationships have an element of pain. This book assumes that D/s also means B/D and S/M, when they are not always connected. According to this book all subs must be available at all times for sex and they must train themselves to be anally ready as well, despite many people having hard limits around anal play. This book says to push a sub’s soft limits.
I got extremely uncomfortable reading this book because it is a load of sexist bullshit that is trying to get more Doms to be sexist monsters who break their subs, instead of caring Doms who will build this subs up. DO NOT TAKE ADVICE FROM THIS BOOK.
0.5 out of 5 stars. I would not recommend this book. Please do not take any advice from this book, ever.
You can buy this book here (and see my fake review that only praised the author for focusing on aftercare and safe words).