Title: The Tease Game
Universe: Maximum Ride
Summary: Well this is basically a pwp so not much of a plot. Max and everyone except for Fang and Iggy have left and they decide to take advantage of the alone time. Have fun and please review it is not the traditional “story” format so please don’t flame because of that . Enjoy!
So I really wanted to like this. I wanted to because I am a huge fan of Maximum Ride and Fang/Iggy, but this story has a few HUGE issues like spelling/grammar and the lack of understanding sex. So I will more fully rant about those below.
So the author misspells words like moan and hair. There is a distinct lack of commas that actually makes the story read awkwardly. While it is done in a very internet text pattern way (which was a new one for my fanfiction reading pleasure), it didn’t feel like the characters were doing anything. Maybe it is because of how lack luster with details the story was because of the way it was written, though I would like to give the author another chance to write in that format before I start to critique that too. I would love to see a fanfiction written in that style that worked well because it is a language that is accessible to me.
What is it with so many people writing fanfiction not thinking lube is needed for anal sex? It feels like no one understands how anuses work and it makes me feel odd that I know so much. LUBE IS NEEDED FOR ANAL SEX. Also hitting the prostate in an aggressive manner is said to hurt more than be pleasurable. So that may be another layer of ow. Add in that there was NO STRETCHING means that Iggy’s anus (unless it was lubed and stretched before Fang got there) would be torn to shreds. Not exactly a sexy picture for anyone that isn’t a Marquis de Sade level sadist.
Getting away from basic issues, there is also the issue that Fang and Iggy in this fanfiction did not have the personalities of Fang and Iggy in the book series. Iggy is not a meek submissive. Fang is not that chatty ever. There were so many issues with this fanfiction that I couldn’t like it, even though I really wanted this pairing to work. If I can ignore the issues I have this story wouldn’t be that bad. It would be a pretty decent PWP, but I have an issue where I want sex to be accurately depicted so I can’t. Add in that these two boys would only be 13-14 in the book series also adds another level of sketch. They probably don’t know what the word kinky means per say since they are often off running for their lives. Fang doesn’t even get regular access to a computer until after he runs away from the flock so he would have no real way of learning it and they have no home to come to if this happens later in the series (unless something happens in the last book that haven’t read yet).
1.5 out of 5 stars. I would not recommend this FF.